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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27990471">if it wasn't for the nights</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anko is black, Fluff, Nice!Orochimaru, Other, Parental Orochimaru (Naruto), Reincarnation, Self-Indulgent, doesn't really come up, like kind of</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:08:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,087</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27990471</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Anko’s hands flew up her forehead groping her face with her hands. She had a face! Something told her that after being beheaded (something she remembered very clearly thank you very much!) A head or a face or being alive wasn’t something many people had. Lowering her hands she caught sight of them they were...tiny and chubby.<br/>“What the fuck” she whispered<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.</p><p>very self-indulgent fic that i wrote at the beginning of the pandemic and I am now forcing myself to post for all of you to suffer through</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mitarashi Anko &amp; Hatake Sakumo, Mitarashi Anko &amp; Orochimaru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>if it wasn't for the nights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘KSHWW” the corresponding spray of dark red arterial spray hit her in the face, the heat of it making Anko flinch. The white bone of the spine peeked through the bloodied mess that used to be his neck, but the executioner kept going until his blade hit the stone with a loud metallic thump and the head tumbled off the stage and the body with its mangled neck slumped at her feet. She didn’t know the guy that well but that was fucked up.</p><p>Her face was shoved into blood still covering the stone and was pushed through it until her head hung off the stone. I hope it doesn’t make me break out  She thought hysterically trying not to think about how she wouldn’t even last long enough for her skin to break out <em>well if they’re gonna put my head up on a spike at least I'll still have clear skin</em> Anko thought, nevermind that she didn’t much of a skincare routine while stuck in the ass crack of this stupid building’s dungeons but it felt nice to know she still had that at least. </p><p>Would the first blow sever her spinal cord? Anko remembered reading about it when Orochimaru-sensei was still teaching her–– maybe that's why he didn’t make any noise ––– maybe she won’t feel pain. What comes after death? Is there an afterlife? Would she enter it right away? Or is there a waiting room? With outdated magazines and a shiny white floor and too-bright lights? Anko was no stranger to death, she knew that wouldn’t be allowed the benefit of a warrior’s death and wouldn’t be welcomed into the great hall by her ancestors or her comrades. Anko had never been religious, she lit incense in the temples and left offerings for her family when she could but she didn’t know enough to know what would happen to her. She wanted darkness with no awareness and no memory of when she was alive, no inkling that she ever existed. It wasn’t like there was anybody left that would care. It'll be like sleeping except with no dreams and she’ll never wake up. The second the blade, still sticky with his cooling blood sliced through her spinal cord––Anko could imagine it now, the brown skin splitting open, until <em>Anko</em> became <em>it</em> just a body, a vessel, her soul gone, and her consciousness dissipating into the humid air. The only memory of her time on earth is the body she entered with bleeding and headless. She still remembers before all this started, maybe if she did listen she wouldn’t be here, but then again Anko wouldn’t have had anything else either. But nothing...it sounded nice, peaceful a vacation really compared to suffering in the land of living. She didn’t want to see the Konoha shinobi she had outlasted because she didn’t deserve to be the one that lived while they died, she had been so happy to see the Allied shinobi forces while she was recovering in a hospital in the Land of Lightning near the destroyed base when a nurse had broken the news to her. Maybe she’d die, maybe she wouldn’t but honestly. She thought as the severed head rolled around to stare back at her with it’s wide eyes glazed over in death. Honestly. She thought as the crows cawed from the battlements and the hot stink of death choked her. Honestly, Anko thought as the executioner swung the sword down. <em>She didn’t care.</em></p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>Anko woke up groaning, her head aching fiercely in a way that she hadn’t experienced in years, wait <em> head? </em> Anko’s hands flew up her forehead groping her face with her hands. She had a face! Something told her that after being beheaded (something she remembered very clearly thank you very much! A head or a face or being alive wasn’t something many people had. Lowering her hands she caught sight of them they were...<em> tiny </em> and chubby.<br/>
“What the fuck” she whispered her voice coming out oddly high and breathy with the lisp she had when she was little, Anko has been bullied mercilessly by the other children at the orphanage for it. Taking in her surroundings she found that she was laying in her bed at the old orphanage that she lived in until she graduated from the academy and moved into her own apartment with her genin pay. It even had the ANKO♡ DANGO she had carved into the post of the bed.</p><p> Was this a dream? It’s not like she had the best childhood growing up she had been alone and friendless for a long while until Orochimaru became her jounin-sensei, for all intents and purposes he was the only person that really raising her, her mother had been a civilian that died in childbirth and her father a merchant that drunk himself to death before her second birthday. The last thing she remembered was being shackled in chakra-blocking chains with another shinobi she had met in captivity, their bodies were to be defiled and left to rot in the sun and their heads mounted on the walls as a warning, maybe, she didn’t know. They weren’t even allowed the dignity of passing with their swords in their hands doomed to wander the pure lands forever without the benefit of a warrior’s death or burial. Not that Anko minded she had known for a while at that point that she didn’t deserve the dignity of an honourable death. Shaking her head she forced herself to focus, was this some kind of genjutsu that she had been trapped in? But why would someone go to the trouble she was a nukenin and alone <em>again</em> a voice whispered<em>alone again just like you deserve you little traitor.</em></p><p>Hauling herself over the side of the bed she stared at the dirty wooden floor, her short legs were what seemed like miles above the ground. Shit. Just how young was she supposed to be, the thought of it was making an odd pressure build-up behind her eyes and god she hadn’t cried since Orochimaru-sensei died and even that had been so long ago she barely remembered what it felt like. In the war, she learned early on that it wasn’t worth mourning the loss of the other shinobi because there were so many that still needed help. She landed on the ground hard, her child’s body not trained to land softly from tall heights her short legs crumpled under her dropping her on her ass and it <em>hurt</em>, sniffling and pushing herself to her feet she toddled over to the mirror she remembered being on the back of the door to the shared room. Staring back at her was chibi Anko. She looked so young! Like a baby she couldn’t be older than four opening her mouth she could see that she at least had all her teeth but she was under two-feet tall. <em>God.</em> she needed to get out of there, the sleeping children surrounding her were vaguely familiar, the tormentors of her early years. They seemed so much bigger when she was actually a child, but now all she could see was their chubby cheeks and childish innocence and couldn’t imagine letting them hurt her.</p><p>Moving to the dingy window she dragged a chair over and climbed over the sill, the little room was first-floor thankfully. Anko crept away from the orphanage before breaking into a sprint, her short little legs carrying her as fast as possible away from that hellhole. The early morning streets were deserted; it was early enough that the stalls in the market were still being set up.</p><p>the market, </p><p>in <em> Konoha</em>. </p><p>What the hell was going on? Konohagakure was gone as in demolished and so was Mitarashi Anko. Her orphanage that she had just left had been destroyed in the Kyuubi attack for kami’s sake a long time before the war so why did she wake up in her orphanage in Konoha in her child body?! Anko was panicking. She knew that intellectually but her brain and her lungs were not cooperating, but her child’s body not responding to her attempts to calm it down, she couldn’t even think properly the longer time went on the more she felt herself succumbing to the instincts of her body. Acting more and more like the child she was now, however that came to be. Fat tears were running down her face blurring her sight ducking her head down as she ran she tried to go faster.<br/>
<em> Oof! </em></p><p>Anko ran headlong into a pair of legs, her arms pinwheeling as she fell back on the hard cobblestone already bracing herself for the undoubtedly painful collision when two big hands caught her and lifted her into the air. A head covered in unruly silver hair swimming into view Kakashi she thought but, no, that was wrong, Kakashi had worn a mask for as long as she had known him and the man in front of her had his face uncovered, his wide mouth turned into a frown.</p><p>“Are you okay cub? You were running pretty fast there” <em> Oh no </em>, she had meant to run away from adults not right into one! What was she supposed to tell this man? He was obviously a shinobi and would be able to see her lying from a mile away; she couldn’t lie at all! Orochimaru-sensei had dismayed in her ability to lie early on giving up on her ever being as practiced at subterfuge as he was. Horrifyingly enough she burst into tears, her new (old?) body unable to handle emotions.</p><p>“Shhh little one”<br/>
The big man brought her close, almost cradling her. It had been so long since another person hugged her that Anko melted into the embrace, her hands clutching his flack jacket and tucking her head into the crook of his neck. His hugs remind her of Orochimaru-sensei, the tang of blood and the rough weave of his flak jacket bringing back memories that nearly suffocate her with their weight.<br/>
“That’s a good girl, I have a son at home that's about your age you know.” The man’s voice was tinged with pride with the mention of his son, his big hand on her back spanning the width of her body warm and comforting. She only cried harder because this man was so <em> nice <em>and no one had treated her like this since Orochimaru-sensei died.</em></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“What are you doing here all alone? Where’s your kaa-san? She must be worried for you running around in the streets like this”</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“She’s dead” Anko forced out, her mouth as uncooperative as the rest of this stupid body. She pushed herself up and away from his shoulder, her tears stopping as she rubbed her face focusing on the man before her. He really <em> did </em> look a lot like Kakashi with his silver hair and dark eyes and– as she looked down at the dizzying distance between her and the ground– his height. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“And your tou-san?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“I don’t ‘ave parents” she replied annoyed at all his questions but unwilling to be placed back on the ground. She had forgotten to bring shoes when she left the orphanage and the streets were cold!<br/>
“I’m from the or-phan-age” she slowed down her pronunciation of the word, her tongue thick and unwieldy. The man frowned his big eyebrows drawing together in a way that made her want to laugh; they looked like big caterpillars inching across his forehead, giggling to herself she reached out to touch them, feeling her way across his face. The man peered at her taking in her dirty clothes and bare feet.<br/>
“What’s your name little one?”<br/>
“Anko” she replied, still distracted by his caterpillar-brows; they were so soft and fuzzy. “I like your face” she decided, nodding to herself. The man laughed before moving to catch her hand</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Thank you Anko, I'm glad you do” Frowning again, the man moved towards a bench.<br/>
“Anko, why are you outside so early? It’s not safe for you to be outside alone like this, is there anyone at the orphanage that’s supposed to be watching you right now?” bobbing her head she nodded.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Yes! But Hayate-san doesn’t really like me so she ignores me sometimes an’ Takahashi-san is always too busy with the other kids an’ I don’t really like it there so I left but then my feet got cold and I got lost and then I found you!” she chattered loudly bouncing on his arm (maybe she was laying it on a bit thick but she wanted the guy to keep holding her pride be damned). His eyebrows furrowing even more he looked almost– mad? It was understandable the man looked like he was tired, he hadn’t signed up for picking up some random brat. Deflating a bit she leaned away from his face he was nice but she didn’t want to bother him anymore, she still had to figure out why she was here in the first place. She was a grown woman for kami’s sake and here she was acting like a child with some guy she met on the street! Ugh, sensei was so rolling in his grave right now. Anko straightened up and pushed her shoulders back<br/>
“Well it was nice meeting you old man but i gotta go! ‘sides you look tired anyways you don’t need me bothering you.” Tightening his arms the anger tainting his chakra faded away</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“You’re not bothering me cub I'm just worried about you being alone outside like this. The workers at the orphanage should be watching you better. I tell you what– why don’t you come home with me and we can get you some shoes and some food and I'll take you back to the orphanage later.” No that couldn’t be right she thought, why would he care about some random orphan?</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“I don’t even know you old man, stranger danger is a real concern y’know!” she said pouting </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Fine, Anko.” he replied like she was humouring her “my name is Hatake Sakumo and now we’re not strangers anymore” <em>Hatake Sakumo! eh???</em>. He was Kakashi’s dad and Konoha’s infamous White Fang and he was carrying her towards <em>his house!</em> On one hand she liked the guy and it was nice to not have to walk on the cold pavement but he was Kakashi’s (!!!) dad and she hadn’t even found out why she was sent back here in the first place. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>  The only thing she really remembered about him was that when Kakashi was still in the academy he killed himself after a mission that went wrong. Anko knew that Kakashi had graduated when he was six and he was two years older than her so if Sakumo was still alive she was probably four or at least almost four. She still didn’t know why she was here but the Sage knew that now that she was, she was going to change things and wouldn’t let her reality become this one, she’d rather die all over again then watch her friends and comrades and her <em>village</em> be destroyed again. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>  Mitarashi Anko was a lot of things but she was not the type of person to back off when faced with a challenge, Kakashi was one of her friends before he died and she knew that his father’s death weighed heavy on him, especially in the final weeks of the war. She wouldn’t let it happen again not now and not ever! She pumped her fist up in the air hitting Sakumo’s hitai-ate with her knuckles. Until she knew what else she could change here was as good a place as any to start.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>

    <em>~~~~~<br/>
Sakumo had ended up putting Anko up in a dusty spare room on what was possibly the comfiest futon she had ever laid on and in Oto Anko had not been a slouch when it came to spending money on beds. Kakashi was nowhere to be seen the next morning. Already at the Academy while Sakumo had greeted her breakfast before escorting her back to the orphanage, He had extracted a promise from her to not go wandering around at night anymore and made sure Hayate-san knew she was back before leaving to pick up Kakashi.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>A few days later while Anko is wandering around the marketplace, during the day this time. She’s still disoriented by the fact she was in Konoha of all places, Anko hadn’t expected to ever come back like this. She was enjoying her time exploring her home relearning it and appreciating it in a way she had never felt the need to do before. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>People keep knocking into her and tripping, after the fourth time that happens in five minutes Anko's ready to call it quits and head to the park where she can go on the swings!</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>She’s trying to remember the map of the Konoha in her head when a man with long black hair passes her, a familiar scent of expensive tea and chemicals wafting it reminds her of Sensei before he- <em> wait, Sensei? </em><br/>
Eyes wide Anko spins around trying to catch sight of him but the man had already disappeared, pushing her way fast the slow-moving civilians and ignoring the annoyed shouts she got she catches sight of him again.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>Orochimaru, it was Orochimaru. </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Sensei! Sensei!” Anko yelled at him before she could think of anything else. Belatedly she realized that in this world she hadn’t met him yet but it was too late, he was already looking at her. Squeezing her eyes shut she puffed out her cheeks cursing herself silently for her own stupidity <em> idiot! He doesn’t even know you exist </em></em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Anko?” She heard him whisper, his voice suddenly very very close, opening her eyes he’s directly in front of her leaning down and almost reaching for her, his golden eyes glistening with some hesitant unnamed emotion. “Anko... you remember-” he broke off closing his eyes, visibly collecting himself bringing his arms back to his sides.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“Sensei no! I remember I remember you!” Anko replied, her face turning a very unbecoming shade of red as she tried to keep her stupidly emotional body from crying (okay maybe it wasn’t just her body that wanted to cry but she wasn’t going to admit that). “Sensei you were <em> gone </em> and I was alone and and-”  She broke off into fat tears shuddering. Shushing her, Orochimaru gathers her in a gentle hug like he’s afraid of holding her too hard.</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>“I’m here, I’m here now”</em>
  </em>
</p>
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